I don't know how many times I have been asked how I find the time to produce so many layouts. I have blamed it on frequent bouts of insomnia, (true enough), and laughed it off with humor, but the truth is much more complicated and goes to the heart of who I am and what my life has been.
I have battled depression all of my life, sometimes debilitating depression. I received a double whammy with a history of clinical depression on both sides of my family as well as a family history of sexual abuse on my paternal side. I am myself an incest survivor. That is not something easily worked into a casual online conversation, but is also something that I no longer keep secret. It is just a fact, and one that informs who I am, which includes an obsessive quality to my personality. While I understand intellectually that moderation in all things is the healthy approach, it is not something that comes naturally to me. Moderation requires a tremendous effort of will on my part, something I'm a little short on right now with the additional weight of menopause enhancing and complicating my depression.
Scrap booking not only involves the photographs that are important to me, but gives me the opportunity to bring order and beauty to my life in a very therapeutic, hands on way. In a world where there is so much ugliness, and so much that is beyond our control, art allows us to focus on that which is beautiful, not only in the world, but inside of us. It provides an outlet to express both, something that I am very much in need of currently.
I cannot begin to express how important the validation I receive from this online community is to me, or how very grateful I am for the comments. My sincere thanks.